Alas, let's get down to brass tacks. This is an unusual review for me, as I am not of the cloth that reviews beer or even knows where to begin when describing the flavor profile of a beer without sounding like a pretentious, hipster FUCK - but I've been compelled to review this beer, this concoction of crazy, this tincture of tumultuousness, this potion of preposterousness! Is that how beer review people talk? I have no idea what I'm doing. *shrug*
Here we go! Let me first give you the backstory as to how I was introduced to this beverage. It was the 30th of July, I was at work, and I received this text message while on break:
Which, being the experienced salesperson that I am, I was a bit perturbed but as mentioned above, also intrigued. I know where these types of messages can lead to, as I've been around the block when it comes to Network Marketing/Multi-Level Marketing schemes. At this point, I am questioning everything. The following thoughts began to spiral through the train tracks of my consciousness:
What could he possibly have that I, in particular, would be 'very interested' in?
Is he trying to sell me something?
Is it Invigaron? Am I going to feel the power of the berries?
Am I being deported? I swear I was born in Sacramento.
So he called me, and proceeded to hype up this event tonight that I "needed to be a part of," saying that "other like-minded people will be there," and that he has "asked around," and people have said that, I in particular, would be very interested in "this." Which again, made me think of all the times I was duped by my past 'friends' to attend some multi-level marketing event in some hotel's conference room. That was when I straight up asked him, "Dude, is this some kind of multi-level marketing thing?" To which he replied "No! Dude, I would never try to sell you something." Which is EXACTLY what someone who is trying to trick you into coming to a network marketing meeting would say! Naturally, my paranoia kicked in. I began calling our mutual friends, searching for some kind of clue, however the first few I reached out to seemed to not be in the know. Finally, after reaching out to Eoghan, one of the rare bastions of levelheadedness within my closer circle of friends, he finally put it into perspective for me. He said something along the lines of, "Austin isn't the kind of person who would try to do that to you, and that if he is doing this, it's probably something awesome and you should stop questioning it." My mind is at ease again.
Upon arrival to the address Austin furnished me, I realized I had been there before. It was a house where another friend had his going away party (we miss you Tony!). I see a familiar car in the driveway, and upon entering I am greeted by Austin, Reid and Ruben. First, they joke with me about it being a network marketing thing and that was precisely when I knew it wasn't. There was no projector screen. Nobody was wearing a suit. My paranoia dissolved. I ask about the thing, and Austin tells me it is on its way.
Around 9:30PM was when Tiffany, Austin's lovely girlfriend, arrived with a couple of growlers of beer from his place of work, Stone Liberty Station. After a few moments, they brought me this chalice of beer and asked me to drink it. I take a sip. Austin looks over at me and asks "What does that taste like to you? Anything familiar?" It had an aroma that was not something I could identify right away, and not one that would normally coincide with beer. Then Reid goes, "You can definitely smell the Oregano." And that was when it clicked - I was drinking a Pizza flavored beer. What kind of sorcery is this?
My attempt at a snobbish beer review:
Let's talk about the color, the deep, amber hue we are all familiar with when it comes to Stone Brewery. The oregano was the most prevalent of aromas, very powerful on the nose *adjusts monocle*. Hints of pineapple and jalapeno in the after taste *polishes stopwatch*. Other herby notes were felt on the exhale (is this even a thing?), and those were provided by basil, thyme, fennel and parsley *tips fedora*. Overall, it was an interesting experience to say the least.
Around 9:30PM was when Tiffany, Austin's lovely girlfriend, arrived with a couple of growlers of beer from his place of work, Stone Liberty Station. After a few moments, they brought me this chalice of beer and asked me to drink it. I take a sip. Austin looks over at me and asks "What does that taste like to you? Anything familiar?" It had an aroma that was not something I could identify right away, and not one that would normally coincide with beer. Then Reid goes, "You can definitely smell the Oregano." And that was when it clicked - I was drinking a Pizza flavored beer. What kind of sorcery is this?
My attempt at a snobbish beer review:
Let's talk about the color, the deep, amber hue we are all familiar with when it comes to Stone Brewery. The oregano was the most prevalent of aromas, very powerful on the nose *adjusts monocle*. Hints of pineapple and jalapeno in the after taste *polishes stopwatch*. Other herby notes were felt on the exhale (is this even a thing?), and those were provided by basil, thyme, fennel and parsley *tips fedora*. Overall, it was an interesting experience to say the least.
 |
| It's Pizza Time |
Not only was this the coolest possible thing that could have happened that night, but the way it happened was just as amazing. When I did some research and found out Kevin Eastman collaborated with Kris Ketcham of Stone Brewery to create this beer, it made perfect sense. Of course the guy who made TMNT happen had a hand in this - why WOULDN'T he?
I wish I was able to stay longer as Reid and his brother Dylan were preparing to make grilled pizza on the BBQ, but it was getting late and I work early so I scooted the short distance home and passed out.
My friends are awesome.
Until next time...
Live long and pizza,
Payam
I wish I was able to stay longer as Reid and his brother Dylan were preparing to make grilled pizza on the BBQ, but it was getting late and I work early so I scooted the short distance home and passed out.
My friends are awesome.
Until next time...
Live long and pizza,
Payam
